When I go down.

Have you ever been listening to an album, or a song on the radio, and all you can think is "This is my song!"? The words seem to magically match exactly how you are feeling.

I want to share a song that I relate to . It is almost scary sharing this with you, as it reveals some deep thoughts, but I know that so many of you would relate to it as well. 

The song is called "When I go down" it is by Relient.K. Just a warning, it pulls on the heart strings.

Here is the link to the song on YouTube: http://youtu.be/TDskMF54vnw

The reason why, I relate to it, is that I spent a lot of my teenage life feeling sorry for myself. I had countless boyfriends, none of which had the guts to put up with my problems. When I was upset, I took it hard. I was an emotional mess. I didn't seem to have the power to dictate my own moods. 

I hung around with anyone who was friendly, but I soon learnt that just because someone is friendly, doesn't mean that they are your friend. Then there were the deep friendships that I damaged, so that I could follow the crowd. I hurt way too many people. I ignored everything God was telling me, even after I gave my life to him. 

Borderline personality disorder haunted me for the first 3 years of my adulthood. Even though I had so many good things in my life to be greatfull for, I chose to concentrate on the bad things instead. I found myself very angry, moody and confused. I started to self harm, so that I could focus on the physical pain, not the mental pain. I hid from everyone who cared, including Rob (Now my Hubby) 

God had a better plan for me. He rescued me from that path. I went to my doctor and I received a prescription for anti-depressants. I was scared of them at first, but when they kicked in, everything changed. They weren't a happy pill, but they certainly fixed up my emotional state. 

You see, I did go down hard, and God picked me up off the floor in less than a heartbeat. He was there with open arms.

There will never be a moment where everything in your life is perfect. There is always something deep down, screaming. However God will take care of you.

50 questions that will free your mind (questions and answers) -question eighteen

Question eighteen-

Are you holding on to something that you need to let go of?

Isn't everyone? Of course I am! I struggle with certain sins and past problems every day. I know how unhealthy it is, but I can't change it. 

50 questions that will free your mind (questions and answers) -question seventeen

Question Seventeen-

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What's holding you back?

I really want to do a photography class, to extend my knowledge in everything photography.

The thing holding me back is time and money. I'll get there one day, Lord willing. 

50 questions that will free your mind (questions and answers) -question sixteen

Question Sixteen-

How come the things that make you happy don't make everyone else happy?

My simple, yet complicated answer is.... We were created unique. We all have different fingerprints, so why would God stop at personalities?   

50 questions that will free your mind (questions and answers) -question fifteen

Question fifteen-

What's something you know you do diffeently than most people?

I tie my shoelaces differently. I never learnt the "normal" way. Dad taught me how to do it his way... I'm kinda proud of it actually :) 

Don't worry Wilson

I was scrolling though my Facebook feed and I came across this picture. I think Cast Away is a great movie, so read the words written on the picture. I suppose I smiled, but then kept scrolling. Seconds later I couldn't help but scroll back up and re visit the picture. I realised what the words actually said...

"Don't worry Wilson,  I'll do all the paddling, you just hang on"

This reminded me of how our relationship with Jesus is. He loved us enough to die on the cross for us, which was his greatest sacrifice. Further more Jesus is and always will be there to handle your burdens if you will give them to him. He will do the paddling, and you hang on. I'm not saying that you don't have any work to do at all, what I mean is, you don't have to carry your burdens, Jesus did that for you on the cross, and he does it every day. Life doesn't have to be so difficult. It doesn't have to be so complicated. 

50 questions that will free your mind (questions and answers) -question fourteen

Question fourteen-

Have you even seen insanity, where you later saw creativity?

Not really! Haha, short and sweet.