Friday, April 29, 2016


I've spent most of my life listening way too intently to the opinions of other people.
I'm not saying that opinions don't matter, but you really have to be careful to pick and choose which ones to take on board. I think we're all guilty of taking other people's opinions to heart, and most of the time, they are quite damaging. 
According to society, we need to be skinny, blemish free, and wear the most fashion forward clothes money can buy. When I was a teenager,  a boy walked past me at school and straight out said "You're ugly". At the time of course I was a petite and lanky with an acne ridden face. I naturally agreed with the boy. I was convinced that if a complete stranger could call me ugly, then I must be. It didn't matter what anyone else said, it was a strangers opinion that I trusted. Strangely enough though, I didn't go out and buy makeup. In fact for a long time I believed that makeup was too much effort. I didn't start wearing makeup until I went to TAFE, to do my Childcare diploma. Most of the girls there were my age or slightly older. They all wore gorgeous outfits, had their hair done beautifully, and wore really thick makeup. This time it wasn't a direct opinion of another person, this time I was simply assuming that I was ugly because everyone else looked like the worlds definition of beautiful. I made my own opinion, about myself. It was wrong. In all honesty I still can not go out without makeup on, because I've let myself believe that I look ugly without makeup. 
Opinions can be plain annoying, and sometimes heartbreaking, 
When I got engaged, I had so many people ask me, "When's the big day?". For a long time I didn't have an answer to that. We took about 3 years to get married, simply because of finances. I craved to marry Rob, and it was so frustrating trying to explain to people that we hadn't set a date. 
After we got married, the question is of course "When are you having a baby", because babies have to come next right? I want a baby more than anything, but we can not afford to have children, as we are barely affording life. I think it's really incensitive to ask people about having children, just assuming it will have to happen sooner or later. What if a woman has had miscarriages, or has been trying so hard to have a baby for years, without success? It's not easy for any women to come right out and admit that not all is well. 
You see not only is it really important not to always take to heart other people's opinions, but you have to be really careful about the opinions you have of others. You can't just say eveything you think out loud. Social media has a big issue with this. Often I will read a post from one of the pages I'm following on Facebook, e.g a news page. No matter what the article or story is about, there will always be someone who takes it too seriously, or tells you the story is wrong. When it comes to decisions like gay rights, or abortion laws, things can get super heated in the comments section. Why? Because everyone thinks their opinion is fact. That's where the problem lies. An opinion is a perspective, a belief, a judgement. To you it will be as real as it can be, but when you start pushing your opinions too far, or outright blurt things out, it can have huge ramifications.