Friday, July 22, 2016

Tired of being judged

Rant time.... I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sense, but I need to get some things out in the open:

I'm getting sick and tired of being judged. I'll admit, I've done some things in the past that were dumb. But haven't we all? I have had enough of being accused, of being categorised, and of having people expect certain things from me. 
Do you think I don't notice when I'm being bitched about? Do you think I don't know how to tell the difference between a best friend and a fake? Do you actually believe that I'm not smart enough to see right through your lies? Guess what? I'm not who you think I am, and you will never be able to figure me out! I could let you in on all of my darkest secrets, and you still wouldn't really know me. Why? Because I don't even really know me. Only God can say that he knows me, because apparently he has a plan for my life that I don't see. 

Here are some examples of how I've been judged:
- I've had people tell me that I'm a great musician. No offence to them, and thanks for the nice compliments, but I'm NOT a great musician. I failed year 12 music, I can't read music, I can't write my own songs, all I do is cover songs. The best I am is average. There are other things I can do better. I'm not meant to be a musician. 
- It took me a while to realise it, but I'm not meant to be a childcare worker either. I love children, I love taking care of them, I completed my qualification, but I don't entirely agree with the childcare system. Loving children doesn't make me a Childcare worker. When I worked in Childcare I knew I couldn't do certain things, and for lacking in certain skills, I copped staff members talking about me, saying I'm not good enough. No one wanted to be my friend, and they judged me on my childcare skills, not on my personality. 
 - I have been called ugly by some, beautiful by others, so what am I? I can't figure that out entirely, because I've been told two different things. 

I guess what I'm saying is stop! Stop judging me, stop judging everyone. Don't expect the best, don't expect the worse, just let life happen. The more we judge, the more we expect more or less of people, and that's not fair. I'm guilty, you're guilty. At the end of the day God is the only being to have the right to judge.

End rant.
Please comment if you have a different view. I'd like to know.