When I go down.

Have you ever been listening to an album, or a song on the radio, and all you can think is "This is my song!"? The words seem to magically match exactly how you are feeling.

I want to share a song that I relate to . It is almost scary sharing this with you, as it reveals some deep thoughts, but I know that so many of you would relate to it as well. 

The song is called "When I go down" it is by Relient.K. Just a warning, it pulls on the heart strings.

Here is the link to the song on YouTube: http://youtu.be/TDskMF54vnw

The reason why, I relate to it, is that I spent a lot of my teenage life feeling sorry for myself. I had countless boyfriends, none of which had the guts to put up with my problems. When I was upset, I took it hard. I was an emotional mess. I didn't seem to have the power to dictate my own moods. 

I hung around with anyone who was friendly, but I soon learnt that just because someone is friendly, doesn't mean that they are your friend. Then there were the deep friendships that I damaged, so that I could follow the crowd. I hurt way too many people. I ignored everything God was telling me, even after I gave my life to him. 

Borderline personality disorder haunted me for the first 3 years of my adulthood. Even though I had so many good things in my life to be greatfull for, I chose to concentrate on the bad things instead. I found myself very angry, moody and confused. I started to self harm, so that I could focus on the physical pain, not the mental pain. I hid from everyone who cared, including Rob (Now my Hubby) 

God had a better plan for me. He rescued me from that path. I went to my doctor and I received a prescription for anti-depressants. I was scared of them at first, but when they kicked in, everything changed. They weren't a happy pill, but they certainly fixed up my emotional state. 

You see, I did go down hard, and God picked me up off the floor in less than a heartbeat. He was there with open arms.

There will never be a moment where everything in your life is perfect. There is always something deep down, screaming. However God will take care of you.